Co-FRG Leader

Yup, that's right! Yours truly! About 2 weeks ago the FRG leader asked if I wanted to be her co and I jumped on the offer. Crazy? You say. Maybe. I have so been wanting to change frgs forever and here is my chance. I haven't made much of an impact yet because I really don't want to step on the leaders toes, but as we work together more I will put in a little more input. Many of the wives don't know me as the co FRG leader yet but I'm working on changing that. I am a little nervous about my mouth though. I kind of have ZERO patience and some of these women think the world revolves around them and they have the only husband who is deployed and they are the only ones with kids. PLEASE! We have decided to make the FRG a complete democracy. We posted on our facebook page that we would like to have our meetings the first Wednesday of every month. We gave the members the opportunity to vote on what time they would like to go. Many of the wives choose 10am. I figured this was so they could utilize child care. A couple choose 4pm. We commented that we would wait a few more days for people to vote but it looked like meeting time would be at 10. Well the 2 who wanted 4pm went nuts. They came up with reasons that made no sense. One woman said we should consider that this would be during the soldier evening hours and would be calling home. Really? You mean you husband only calls you at 10am the first Wednesday of every month? I am sure you can miss one day. Besides this woman works. Working would have been a better reason then hubby calling home. Tell him to call before. You are more then welcome to excuse yourself and talk to him. Geez some peoples kids. The other woman said it was ridiculous to have it early because people work. She doesn't. She also complained because she has small children. Ok? And no one else does. That's why the majority picked 10am so they could utilize the FREE 16 hours of child care. Oh well, you will NEVER please everybody and I am certainly not going to try either when it comes to majority rules. I just hope that we can all get together, form a bond, and be one big happy family. Ladies if you are one of 2 people who are rebelling and ALL the other women are cooperating maybe you should check yourself. Maybe YOU are being the difficult one.
I will keep everyone posted on what seems is going to be an interesting "stressful" time with the FRG. Hopefully once we get this armyfrg .org page up and going and get through these holidays everything will fall into place. I hope. :/

"D" day

"D" has come and gone and I am bored out of my mind! Ahhh! What do other deployed spouses do this whole year? Thankfully I found this page on facebook called, Fort Hood Wives with Events. The woman who runs this site is awesome. She pretty much finds out when any kind of event is going on in Hood, Killeen, Copperas Cove, and Harker Heights. Other "fans" of this page give her information as well. This has been my go to page to find things for me and my son to do. I went from being and outsider to being involved in everything.
My husband's deployment ceremony was ok; considering. We spent most of the day at his company just sitting around. They finally got to the gym and I just felt anxious. We were only there for a while and I wondered how much longer we were going to be there when I saw they had put the days itinerary on a projection screen. As I was reading the schedule a voice came over the loud speaker and announced that family time was over. It was time to load up. I felt like I had been robbed. I felt like I had wasted my time doing a bunch of other things. I freaked out and started crying. He was really leaving. I gave him the biggest hug ever and moved out of the way so the companies could form up. Now this sad event quickly angered me since me 3 year old decided he wanted to act like a nut. I never expect him to act any better than usual but I couldn't'even say goodbye in peace. Just like I couldn't mourn the lose of my grandmother because he was running around then acting like a nut. And he was doing the same thing again here. This time I just lost it and took him into the bathroom and spanked him telling him this isn't how we act. I feel like I didn't really get closure with my grandmother and I sure as hell wasn't about to miss my opportunity to tell my husband what could be our last goodbyes. It was NOT going to happen like that. Company by company the soldier went outside to load up the buses as hubby walked by I gave him another big hug. As we waited for the buses to leave 2 little girls stared  hysterically crying. Their mother was the one leaving. Her face was bright red and full of tears as she said bye to her girls. The girls tried to cling  on to her but she took off running to the bus, probably so the girls couldn't catch her. My son saw them and asked me (who was balling like a baby, thinking that could have been me if I had stayed in) why the girls were crying. I knelt down to tell them that their momma was going far away for a while just like our daddy was. After I said this I think the light bulb in my son's head went off because he started to cry too. "I missa  my daddy." he said. We hugged for a few minutes before the buses started to pull away. I picked him up and we waved to daddy as he pulled away. We cried some more and then we went back to our little empty house to start "our" year of deployment. "It's just you and me, X. Forever and ever." <3

Army Wife Network Spouse Field Exercise

Part 2 of my busy week I went to an Army Wife Network Spouse Field Exercise. If you have never been to one of these events you are seriously missing out. It is similar to SpouseBUZZ that is sponsered by Military.com, but it is unique as well. Tara Crooks and Star Henderson are the best 2 women ever.
I signed up to register people and to help set up for the event. That morning we stared at 8:30am setting up. We put together soldier's bags and gift bags. We set up the room and got all the decorations up. We had a lot of time to mingle and I actually got to make a few friends. They provided us with lunch at Club Hood. (where the event was being held.) After lunch we did a few touch ups then left to get dressed. We returned at 4pm to have things set up for check in at 4:45pm. We registered everyone and the rest of the night was a blast. Tara and Star talked about how to deal with deployments, resources, and ideas for themed care packages. They showed us Flat Daddy and Hug a Hero. There were TONS of prizes given away. The Absolute best night ever. Of course they also promoted their new book, 1001 Things to Love About Military Life.

Now you know I found something bad at this event. This bad had nothing to do with the event itself but with the wives. The confirmation letter specifically said dress code was "Business Casual" not "People of Walmart." Most everybody was dressed nice but one specifically stood out to me. She was wearing flip flops (It was 40 degrees that night), torn jeans, a t-shirt and a messy ponytail. I remember her because she kept putting in her 2 cents and answering rhetorical questions loudly throughout the whole event. The lesson to this storry is don't dress like trash and be quiet. GEEZ. If you don't have nice clothes then you work with what you got and make your best effort. I don't have problems with that. I have problems with people who DON'T care. Don't age yourself. This is another young wife who lives up to the stereotype that is ever so hard to shake.

CARE Team

This last week of my hubby's leave have been hectic. Lots of things to do. The first was the FRG leader asked me to join the CARE Team. CAsualty REsponse  Team. I agreed and attended a class given by ACS. The CARE team is used to care for one of the families in your unit following an unexpected death or injury. The unit will activate a CARE team after the family is notified. The team will show up at the family's home and provide assistance if the family is willing to accept. The team consists of a Call, Homecare, Childcare, Meal, and Subsequent team. The call person screens calls and visitors. The homecare person runs errands and helps around the home. The childcare person helps with the children so the family can take care of business. The meal person coordinates meal support for the family and the team. The subsequent team meet out of town guests and assist with any other tasks. Team members should be interviewed and selected. They should be emotionally stable and willing and have the ability to respond on short notice among other things. The team usually helps for 72 hours but based on ability they can help up to 7 days.

The thing a speaker during the class harped on was the DD93. Record of Emergency Data. Whatever is put on the DD93 by the soldier is what the Army goes by. This form overrides a will. This form is the law of the land. If a soldier passes away there is a 4 hour window to notify the family from the time the casualty assistance center receives the report. This is in person. There is a 2 hour phone notification window if the soldier is wounded or seriously ill.  This means the DD93  HAS to be ACCURATE. If you are going out of town for a few days let your FRG leader know. This is so if something happens and they can't find you they will contact your FRG leader if she knows where you are at. This will save a lot of time and drama. They will go to the address and call the number on the DD93. Any unpaid wages and death gratuity will be left to the people stated on the form. In case you don't know the "Person Authorized to Direct Disposition"  is the person you give burial authority to. In the "continuation/remarks" section the soldier can state where extra property is, bank accounts and storage units are. It boogles my mind how many spouses are oblivious to finances and other things. The stories this man told were outrageous. Please know what's on your soldier's DD93 so there are no surprises.

Will is all made

Hubby and I had some free time. We sent our son to grandma and grandpa's for a few days so we can be together before "D" day. We also took advantage of this time to take care of a few errands. One of the errands was having our wills made. Fun times. This is just how I wanted to spend my free time. We called Legal and made an appointment. They sent us an email with information on making a will and what all the terms meant, forms to fill out, and a memo stating it wasn't recommended to bring childen since it would take 3 hours to complete a will. As I filled out the sheets I started to feel sad as I hoped no one would ever have to see these pappers. Although I like to be prepared this wan't the best thing I had to do. The main reason we were having these made was to appoint a guardian for our son. The other questions on the form asked for a representative; a perosn to execute the will. They asked for a guardian and a trustee and at what age our son would have access to his trust. The 2nd packet was for a medical directive.  Who would have medical authority over me if I was unable to decide for myself and if I wanted to be on life support or not.
The day of our appointment we should up to legal and they signed us in. We waited a few minutes to see the lawyers (we had 2 separate ones). The lawyers typed whatever we had filled out on the forms into the computer. They then took us back to have our wills notarized and witnessed. We were out of Legal in about an hour and half. The most important thing the lawyer said to me was

"The soldiers DD93 WILL override the will. Make sure your DD 93 is accurate"

The DD 93 is the Record of Emergency Data. I will get more into this form in my CARE team post. Having a will is a great thing to have for your children. There will be no doubt or arguing on who the guardian is going to be. Parents lets put our minds at ease and make sure our children are taken care of. 

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I have been a part of Vocalpoint since 2008. At that time I just thought it was a place to get free samples. I have learned in the past year that they offer so much more. There is a community of member who have advise on all topics. Of course they send you samples of products with some Awesome coupons ( I wish I had another BOGO of the Berry Frosted Mini Wheats), and I just recently learned that they offer "Houseparties." This is a great site to join if you are a part of a mom club, playgroup or any kind of situation where you can share the savings with other people. I have really enjoyed this site and I look forward to receiving samples and information from them in the future.   I recently just received the Swiffer 360 duster. Haven't tried it out yet but I plan to this weekend.

FRG

Most FRG's use this site

Last week we had an FRG (Family Readiness Group) Meeting. A "mandatory" FRG meeting at that. All the married soldiers were required to attend. Their spouses also, if they could. Of course only about 5 wives attended. The reason the FRG leader made this mandatory was good, but I get back to that later.

I Know, I know as soldiers  and misinformed wives we LOATHE the word, "FRG." We automatically think of the stereotypical squaking hens. Well, guess what they aren't all that. Don't get me wrong, my husband's last unit was crap. I was not welcomed at all. I also didn't take kindly to being treated like crap because I was young and new to "their" group. They thought I was ignorant and didn't know anything. "My" FRGs when I was in the army were awesome. The first one had our barracks room clean and stocked when we returned from Iraq. I had towels to shower with, laundry soap, food, soda, and they even put our linen and pillows in our room. Walking into my room felt like a hotel. Very nice to come back and not have to worry about the barracks. My second unit made us hot soup after we returned from being in the field for 2 weeks in 20 degree weather. In other words as a single soldier the FRG were adopted moms to me. They were always around to help.

Well at this meeting she had the right idea. She had every married soldier (I would have had every soldier period) fill out and FRG contact sheet. She expressed how important it is to be in contact withe the spouses. She stated she would not call anyone to participate. This info was strictly for Emergency and redeployment purposes. I had always said to do this and was always told no previously.

So the point is the FRG NEEDS to know your spouse/family members information. You can even write, "For Emergency/Redeployment purposes only," if it makes you feel better. The FRG is there to help you. To show you outlets. To help and educate the army family. Do some gossip? Yes, but you have the opportunity to change that by being involved. Just like everything else "You Get Back What You Put In."